Why are so many people leaving church?
American church statistics have reported:
· In America, 3500 – 4000 churches close their doors each year
· Half of all churches last year did not add one new member through conversion growth
What's going on? I read an interesting article and would like to discuss it with anyone who is interested. Click on the attachment below to read the whole article.
Here's one reason mentioned in the article:
Disenfranchised…
With “friendly” churches: Ask any church and they will tell you they are “friendly.” But what they really mean is that they are a church that is friendly to those inside the church, and not to those outside the church. There have been times in my life where as I visit church, people just do not talk with me, at all. People are not looking for a “friendly” church; they are looking for a church where they can make friends. I always like this to the neighborhood bar; or as I like to call it – the cheers factor. People are looking for a place where people know you, want to know you and are willing to go out of their way to know you – and unfortunately that is not the church. Church should be THE place where people want to get to know each other, and break the stranger line. But the people I talk with about church say that that is not what has been happening. I know of one guy who visited a different church every Sunday for over four months (19 weeks). When I asked why so many, he said, “I was looking for that one church where when I visited for the fist time they would treat me as if I was a long lost brother.” You see, churches tell people, “You need to give us time to get to know you.” While people are saying, “You are not even trying to get to know me.”
· In America, 3500 – 4000 churches close their doors each year
· Half of all churches last year did not add one new member through conversion growth
What's going on? I read an interesting article and would like to discuss it with anyone who is interested. Click on the attachment below to read the whole article.
Here's one reason mentioned in the article:
Disenfranchised…
With “friendly” churches: Ask any church and they will tell you they are “friendly.” But what they really mean is that they are a church that is friendly to those inside the church, and not to those outside the church. There have been times in my life where as I visit church, people just do not talk with me, at all. People are not looking for a “friendly” church; they are looking for a church where they can make friends. I always like this to the neighborhood bar; or as I like to call it – the cheers factor. People are looking for a place where people know you, want to know you and are willing to go out of their way to know you – and unfortunately that is not the church. Church should be THE place where people want to get to know each other, and break the stranger line. But the people I talk with about church say that that is not what has been happening. I know of one guy who visited a different church every Sunday for over four months (19 weeks). When I asked why so many, he said, “I was looking for that one church where when I visited for the fist time they would treat me as if I was a long lost brother.” You see, churches tell people, “You need to give us time to get to know you.” While people are saying, “You are not even trying to get to know me.”
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Why Are People Leaving.doc, 34 KB
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by David Johndrow on
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Wow, this is the absolutely biggest issue facing the Western church today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a student of relationship for many years now-- and I am not perfect by any means -- I have blogged about it until I am sick of hearing myself rant. More so, I am tried of bringing people to church that never connect. When I interview them, most just think church is lame; without passion resulting in them not feeling significant. Me? I am really interested in being part of he solution, and not just complaining about the problem. I have tried to come up with some easy steps that one can take to get things going... for sure the most important place in the church is not the pulpit, but the route between the restrooms and the pew. I have a blog, which I posted some time ago that is HERE It's entitle Relationship 101 - Common Sense. There are a dozen more posts if you are interested. Great topic!
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Permalink Reply by Karen Flaherty on -
Yes! Your Relationship 101 article is right in line with this. All relationships take some effort. I really like easy steps---- initiate, commit, communicate, watch, resolve, share, end, and enjoy! It just seems like the is little expectation in a church community for new friendships. Just learning people's names is a start!
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Well, I have teenagers and here what they said. They wen to a new church in Boston, filled out cards, and never heard from anyone. I introduced them to the pastor and the meet & greet. He was nice and told us to look for so and so who we never found. No follow follow-up. Sad. Recently we went to a new church, and my daughter filled out the card, and actually got a hand written note. Wow. Someone finally noticed!" she said. But nothing since then, and they left her standing in the foyer alone with a cup of coffee the next two weeks. I think all churches should have a video cameras in the lobby or foyer and study it afterward.
If anyone is interested, let me know if you would like my treatise for greeters - "From Parking Lot to Pilgrim."
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Permalink Reply by Scott Miller on -
I have a lot to say about this because there are many different reasons why people are leaving the church today. I do agree that relationship is first and foremost, and our love for one another is one of our greatest testimonies. What I see happening in the western church is a complete reformation. I believe the church will look nothing like it does today twenty years from now. Many people are not happy with the status quo. They have been hurt, diillusioned, disapointed, or just plain bored in church. It is primarily due to the nature of the structure and emphasis of the church across America. Most church goers are following a man in the pulpit versus walking out a passionate love relationshiip with Jesus. Many have been hurt by their leaders failing them in some way or hurting them. Following Jesus never leads to dispointment whereas following man almost always does. The Bible says the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth. it is a relationship with the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit that is lacking in the church. Most are way to busy doing things for God to spend time in intimacy with Him. Therefore men and women are following men and women, and we all know what that leads to. The leadership of most of the church in America is not leading the people into a deep and passionate relationship with God. The emphasis of knowledge over relationship is evident in most churches. Both are important, an understanding of the word of God and relationship, but all you have to do is go to Africa or some place out of our culture where no one has a bible and if they did they cant read it , to see how fast our emphasis breaks down. We do know that each one of Gods children can be lead into all truth by the Holy Spirit. Most people in the church have a knowledge of God but have been taught by church leaders to deny His power. They live their lives based on principles not experiencing His presence or His power. I remember hearing Leonard Ravenhill preach years ago and he said "you dont have to advertise a fire" When God pours out His Spirit, people flock to experience God move in mighty power for healing, deliverance, and freedom. When people experience the power of God ongoing in their lives they see transformation in their own lives and those around them. There is a growing hunger to experience a God that is real and powerful. To hear His voice and to come into an understanding of our calling and our purpose. A place where we are willing to lay our lives down for one another and encourage and love one another at all costs. To come into a place where He can touch us where we are at and experience His tangible presence and His amazing love. I have seen that where the presence of God is sought after, seeking Him first, there is vitality and life, there is hope, promise and vision. and the church is growing. Where there is an emphasis on knowledge and principles, there is a degree of deadness and boredom. We are witnessing a great transition of the church being reformed back into the emphasis of the early church where they met daily as a community of believers, where everything was in common and there was no lack, Where miracles were common, and there was a continual expansion of the Kingdom. Where Gods rule and reign impacted and influenced every part of society, not unlike the reformation in Martin Luthers times where every part of society was radically transformed. So many people are done with traditional church, they are searching for something completely different. There is in some cases a healthy disatisfaction with the status quo because that is what brings about change. I believe the Holy Spirit is still calling us to come away with Him for He has all the answers to our questions, He has everything we need, and all that we desire is found in Him. As the body comes together in seeking Him first, then a beautiful picture well unfold before our very eyes. the bride of Christ in all her beauty. People need Jesus, they want Jesus, and they will recieve Him as they see Him for who He truly is, and we will see many more enter the Kingdom as we, His church, truly reflect His love and mercy and amazing grace as the people of God.
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Permalink Reply by Karen Flaherty on
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Scott,
I agree with you! I too think that we are going to experience a reformation in the Church. I think people are tired of the noise and the plastic. "Give me Jesus" says it all! There is definitely a dissatisfaction with the status quo, but I also see a lot people who prefer a distant relationship with Christ. They know very little about His Word. They have never heard a message on spiritual maturity and honestly feel great that they can be a Christian and not be any different from the world. God works for them in their lifestyle and there seems little desire to go deep. There's no hunger and thirst. I think that the people who are feeling dissatisfied are being nudged by the Holy Spirit to awake from lethargy and seek His face.
The Ravenhill quote you refer to is really good--- "you don't have to advertise a fire." Are you involved in a community that is being reformed
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Permalink Reply by Carl Tuttle on -
Simple question, but the answers are complex and varied. There is the old addage, 'people come to church for many reasons, but they stay for one, relationship.' That is probably true, when you connect with others at a meaningful leavel there is the tendancy to continue in a particular church.
It's probably also true that people do find the church boring, irrelavant, intolerant and lacking authenticity. There is also massive competition today, unlike 50 years ago, when stores weren't even open on Sundays, the church was the only game in town. Now people have so many choices and can always catch church at 'Bedside Baptist!' via Television or podcast, you name it.
The fact is while the evangelical church in many places is in crisis in the West, people evidently simply don't find a compelling reason to gather, part of which could be some of what Scott is saying in his comments below, our stuctures get in the way many times of relationship with God and sometimes with each other. Although I don't think you can do away with the human factor, in mentioning Martin Luther, Scott would make my case, God uses men and women in the church to lead, even gives some the 'gift of leadership', but the stuctures that create separation between each other, people needing to be in 'authority over' others develops into a our own little caste system. Many times these systems are very dysfunctional and lack grace, mercy and justice, therefore people will and do get hurt. But there is a responsibilty on our shoulders to flee systems where there a lack of these things as well as openness and accountabilty.
Back to the question. I think in many cases the message and the means simply aren't compelling, there is to much time and energy being put forth to prop up the systems and not enough invested in the lives of the men and women with gather.
I think there are sincere members of the body of Christ, men and women who love Jesus and want to follow him, that simply are tired of the church they have experienced. Some leave never to return, some leave and find other ways to connect with others and God.
It is really easy to pick apart the church by the way, it's a big target and when doing so, we have to remember that the church does and historically has done an awesome work throughout the world. Who is it that has established orphanages, hospitals, sponsored missionaries, sends aide to dissaster struck regions, the church. It's easy to prophecy 'the bones are dry' it's a little more challenging to 'speak life to the bones'.
Another factor that affects the church is that we live in a consumer society, people 'shop' for churches. They see what 'they have to offer'. How about finding a church, in whatever form and fashion, that God is leading you to? How about praying and asking God 'where do you want me?' Frankly our independance , our freedom to choose, has affected folks commitment to our churches as well. I"m not sure that people are even seeking to be led by God through the Holy Spirit.
So let me ask, What should the church be like? John Wimber did a series years ago called, 'The Church That I Would Join', were he articulated the things that would compel him to commit to a particular body of people.
So how would we answer that question? What should the church be? How should it be organized? Or should it be 'organized'?
If it weren't organized, would we have the orphanages and hospitals we have today? Would we have the institutions of higher learning, such as they are, which all were established by the church.
I'm tipping my hand a bit, I actually think it needs to be 'organized' in that we do need to gather in some form or fashion, that's were I wold look for some answers, in the structures and models we have developed today, which are heavily influenced by corprate structures.
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Wow, an impassioned group! Relationship is not the reason that we go to church, it is the reason that we stay in church. My wife and I have been "niced to death" at that last few places. Like the 5 Love Languages, each person responds to different styles of love, and relationship. Beyond making a few life long friends, we need to be involved with what Jesus is doing. Honestly, after 30 years, I could care less what is coming from the pulpit. I am looking for opportunities to get out there and do something for God. The problem, no one goes very far without relationship. Relationship is IMPORTANT in froming character. God knows, we have lots of bad character out there.
To answer Carl's question, what should the church be like? I think that church at Antioch is a good example (not model) It had the ebb and flow of the apostolic and prophetic as a foundation. They were trainers and equippers (Eph 4:11) and they had pastoral care, prayer and evangelism. The structure of the church is supposed to support that ministry of equipping the saints. But again, without relationship and the equippers will never be able to pull it off. One facet of the church will always be out of whack. There has got to be balance between pastoral care, outreach and teaching within the local church. And there needs to be an apostolic vision that is detailed by prophetic revelation the helps guide the growth and direction of the church. The leadership team has to have relationship otherwise it isn't a body, and it will never make real disciples.
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Permalink Reply by Karen Flaherty on
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I agree with you, Carl. The answers are complex and varied. I agree with all of your points. This point really hit home: "I think in many cases the message and the means simply aren't compelling, there is to much time and energy being put forth to prop up the systems and not enough invested in the lives of the men and women with gather. I think there are sincere members of the body of Christ, men and women who love Jesus and want to follow him, that simply are tired of the church they have experienced. Some leave never to return, some leave and find other ways to connect with others and God."
What do think Church should be like? It should be simple and sincere. The Word of God is taught, seamless worship, serving each other, powerful corporate prayer, outreach to the lost, When people walk through the door they know that they are in a loving and caring community---the hand knows when the foot is hurting. Philippians 2:2 - "then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose."
There are no strangers. There is a genuine interest in getting to know one another. Lots of love and grace.
These conversations about church have really challenged me to think about the lukewarm areas in my walk with Christ and are rekindling a passion to improve my devotional life. Thanks everyone!
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